That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize