When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
