Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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