Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
