Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My life is pants optional.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
