Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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