I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
