I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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