That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
please don't ironically join a cult
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