He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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