Im at strip club and am horny
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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