Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.

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(541): View more from Oregon

the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit

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(310): View more from California

I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.

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(209): View more from California

I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.

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