maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
