he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
