I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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