her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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