just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
