Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
