looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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