You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
