FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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