I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
