He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
