So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
