You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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