Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
