If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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