OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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