3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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