I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
