my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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