Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
