Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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