i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
