I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
