good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
