she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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