just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
soo... how was my night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
