Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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