he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
