I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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