can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
