Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
