for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
