Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
