I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
