in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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