Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
