He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
