all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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