dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
