i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
