Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!" http://tfl.nu/83kf
  Replies (22) Good night (1561) Bad night (11751)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders? http://tfl.nu/9s8f
  Replies (15) Good night (4852) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2824) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/acr2
  Replies (7) Good night (1847) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain? http://tfl.nu/msrw
  Replies (3) Good night (1940) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist" http://tfl.nu/osi4
  Replies (5) Good night (2023) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1231) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/j7oy
  Replies (8) Good night (786) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee" http://tfl.nu/ycun
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July. http://tfl.nu/b542
  Replies (2) Good night (934) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr http://tfl.nu/s0ny
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps http://tfl.nu/vib3
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class? http://tfl.nu/l30v
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date? http://tfl.nu/4sr6
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (641)

Randomize