is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is