Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now! http://tfl.nu/8f67
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1824) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true http://tfl.nu/xhyv
  Replies (20) Good night (4728) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81
  Replies (14) Good night (6072) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (31) Good night (12084) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/5zhv
  Replies (22) Good night (7242) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal... http://tfl.nu/9xti
  Replies (20) Good night (1428) Bad night (3252)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me http://tfl.nu/zcpa
  Replies (6) Good night (4067) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (3036) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life http://tfl.nu/pypl
  Replies (13) Good night (2698) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often. http://tfl.nu/bjtx
  Replies (2) Good night (1590) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES http://tfl.nu/zxql
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight. http://tfl.nu/0s2q
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class http://tfl.nu/61qs
  Replies (8) Good night (595) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent http://tfl.nu/qh18
  Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (435)

Randomize