they need to just BURY HIM!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
