Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize