Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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