We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
