I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
