so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
