I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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