The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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