Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
